Underwater breaths

It's so sad. That i recognize myself in those.

You love me, but i'm not sure of that. I feel myself so outsider.

I can't say "change your friends." that's cruel, it's me who is being asshole. But i can't do anything about it if i don't know how to be sarcastic in every conversation. fuck this and fuck that.

haa haa haa.

ha

ha

HAA.

I'm crying on Valentine's day.
i'm not happy, not that kind of crying.

I'm so fool.
I surrender everything and everyone.

Nobody cares about me.

So i'm home and watching this site http://www.artistintheworld.com/ and dreaming my own atljee.

love you all around there. Enjoy the day.

Tunes for my Saturday morning

I have to get my glasses repaired.

That's all.

My computer is dead.
No can do.
Must focus on the real life.
School is eating me.
I'm losing money.
Buying fabrics, food, wine and cigarettes.

What i'm excited about
is
Aki Kaurismäki's films
Loving
Designing things in my head.

Life.

(sighs)

Deep in the bosom of the gentle night

Is when I search for the light
Pick up my pen and start to write
I struggle, fight dark forces
In the clear moon light
Without fear... insomnia
I can't get no sleep

I used to worry, thought I was goin' mad in a hurry
Gettin' stress, makin' excess mess in darkness
No electricity, something's all over me, greasy
Insomnia please release me and let me dream of
Makin' mad love to my girl on the heath
Tearin' off tights with my teeth
But there's no release, no peace
I toss and turn without cease
Like a curse, open my eyes and rise like yeast
At least a couple of weeks
Since I last slept, kept takin' sleepers
But now I keep myself pepped
Deeper still, that night I write by candle light
I find insight, fundamental movement, uh
So when it's black this insomniac take an original tack
Keep the beast in my nature under ceaseless attack
I gets no sleep
I can't get no sleep

I can't get no sleep
I can't get no sleep
I need to sleep, although I get no sleep
I need to sleep, although I get no sleep

 

-Insomnia, Faithless

Lately i've been listening that album a lot.

I'm feeling little bit lost. I want to find my creativity and excitemend again. I need it.
Maybe i have to just sit down and start.

I wear all the time black. Am I going into depression?

I'm going to take a shower.

Pull the string out of my back if you wanna talk.

So.. New year, new page, new things. Cliche.

My mind is just same. but i'm so happy those others who have been able to turn their minds to blank page. And start to fill it with new things.
I'm just messing my old page with happy stuff but also oppressive stuff.

I..

ouh nothing.

Listening Brigitte Bardot. It's the sax.

Je T'aime.

I'm also middle of clothing crisis. puke for that.