times when don't feel like

Hi there! First of all, i look like a duck. duck duck duck. new glasses.

I feel so sad. I've been thinking, do i make myself sad? Or am i just pushing good things away. Or bad things just comes to me.

Fuck.

I think i have to be quiet and alone. No harm to anybody.
But i don't want to be quiet and alone!!  But when i open my mouth, i sound just like a duck..

I want to do something. I have to get cigarette smell out of my room..
What's wrong with me?