Smoke fills the lungs

Hey!

I took some gasps yesterday. Me and my friend went to watch Moonrise Kindom and ooh it was so sweet. I smiled throw the hole movie. Andersson just knows how to do it.
Then we talked with my friend, it's so great that you can talk to someone who listen.

I don't know how to be social. I'm behind others. When i learn to talk?

Fear.

Stop me oh oh stop me

Panic panic panic! I'm just rolling my thumbs and think what the hell i should do. I was planning to move and be free, but one email can just ruin everything.. Now i have to star over and damn two weeks left. I want to change my school and do like art stuff., but all thought i like making clothes too. hmph. in chrismas we have underwear course maybe i want to stay there.

When it's okay to lie about a thing? I don't know what else i should do (now i'm talking different thing) oh when i can see rainbows and happy stuff...

Now i'm biting my fingernails and listening ride and soon taking laundry out.

And i would give all this and heaven too

New year 2012

I hate myself, i hate myself. This ignorance is killing me and i'm so confused and frustrated. Something is holding me still, but i have plenty works to do and i can't do it. whyy. what is wrong with me.

And i hate these stupid horoscopes which i have obsession to read every day. The words controll my life and the fucking stars. "Monday is worth of three stars" fucking hate it! I thought it would guide me and tell me what i should do and what shouldn't. But that's just bullshit! Never trust the horoscopes.

I cry.

This writing doesn't help. i'm still going to read those horoscopes.. maybe. i must try hard to not read.

And this boy is in my dreams, i think i like him very much and i do but i don't get the time. I have to tell it face to face and i try and try. And now he must think about me as i stalk him or i have obsession of him. And i think when i get the time, it's too late by then. I'm always getting shit on my neck.

I've never experienced the love. ( i don't mean family.) or feel it or see it. Oh dear i mean, nobody hasn't told me or shown interest in me. something is wrong. obviously!

Isn't it wonderful that my writings is always the same shit.

I need answers. i have to think again and think little bit more.

I knew i was ugly.

 

Loving joose and smelling weird. like smoke and barbeque mushrooms. And thinking too much that i don't even know any more what i'm thinking.

Adventures everywhere

Haha life is so funny and some people too.. Friday was exciting day overall, group of hot chicks and few cowboys went to the coast and the idea of celebrating my birthday. I didn't know anything and they say now it's Indian theme and lets slice it my shirt and put some few feathers on my head. I liked it!

It was so beautiful down there! i was happy. I also invited my crush down there and the feeling in my stomach was awesome! But i'm so question mark to whole thing! or i say this way, i don't know what he is thinking about me! what to do? hey all of you love ambassadors, help me! oh i'm so pathetic!
But anyways it was best time! I can consider to publish pictures of the evening. We were so wild!

Morning was also great we eat breakfast at the pier and cut the super yummy cheesecake. Perfect!

I have one awesome story to tell you, but now i'm too tired to tell it.

WAVE WAVE

Oh i have lots of stuff in my mind. Questions to which i can't find answers to, projects i should start and finished them, dreams i need to plan and think the time when i would implement them and shit i just want to delete out of my mind but i just can't.

Oh i just love dynamo strobo lights and new roads what i found and just want to walk again and again.

Feeling right now is..
i want to disappear












sea-biologist