And the heart is hard to translate,
It has a language of it's own,
It talks in tongues and quiet sighs
And prayers and proclamations,
In the grand days of great men
And the smallest of gestures,
In short shallow gasps.

But with all my education,
I can't seem to command it,
And the words are all escaping,
And coming back all damaged,
And I would put them back in poetry,
If I only knew how,
I can't seem to understand it.

And I would give all this and heaven too,
I would give it all if only for a moment,
That I could just understand
The meaning of the word, you see,
'Cause I've been scrawling it forever,
But it never makes sense to me at all.

And it talks to me in tiptoes,
And sings to me inside,
It cries out in the darkest night,
And breaks in morning light.

But with all my education,
I can't seem to command it,
And the words are all escaping,
And coming back all damaged,
And I would put them back in poetry,
If I only knew how,
I can't seem to understand it.

And I would give all this and heaven too,
I would give it all if only for a moment,
That I could just understand
The meaning of the word, you see,
'Cause I've been scrawling it forever,
But it never makes sense to me at all.

No words or language,
It doesn't deserve such treatment,
And all my stumbling phrases,
Never amounted to anything worth this feeling,
All this heaven,
Never could describe such a feeling as I'm having,
Words were never so useful,
So I was screaming out a language
That I never knew existed before.

-Florence & the machine, All this and heaven too.

This is so great song, i just love it!

How long i have to wait?

Okay blogger sucks but who cares. I'll write the text here..

So photo one: Yey i have something to read next, but which i would start? Dale or Laura? Laura maybe interest more...

photo two: Oh i found proper backpack from flea market. Now oh gash i want to go see the world with that on my back.

photo three: I was starting to narrow my jeans, but my sewing machine decide to fuck with me and the jeans stuck in there. They have been there hole weekend, hahah. Maybe i will do with that something...

I had been tired all the time and i got new dvd player! Yeah!

I'm bored.

New week ahead

I'm super super tired. Skin looks horrible and good if i see something.
Thighs are so strained... stupid dance moves.

Ouh and i get great pleasure in painting again. Something else to think. 
That's good!

Can't stop moving and eating rice cakes.

Dreamy pop

Hey i want to share a song from my friends band. They are great! More songs is hopefully coming and will be. I think. But anyways push play and then let the mind just float.

Strange lights in my head

Summer 2007

When i watch these pictures, i feel so much angry and missing. Why i was so unaware and blind. Teenage years. I hated those times, i wasn't myself the hole fucking three years. I didn't have real friends. I was happy only in art lessons were i was alone and doing what i liked.

I'm so tired.

Where are spontaneous people?
Meri where is your spontaneous? "I don't know, i said."
Relax, "hu?"
Breath, "?"
What's your fucking problem? "I don't know"

I'm so tired.

Lost again

I'm so lost right know.
Lots of guide talks and information makes my head dizzy. What i do? It's so hard to breath. I just want to scream. My hands are shaking.

I want away from here. So badly. Run away from this boy which i have huge crush. He did some bad things but i just can't get him out of my mind.

Crying doesn't help, but i can't do anything about it.

I hate to write on this blog.

I remember watching this from tv with my mouth open when i was little. 
so funny. There must be embarrasing homevideo of that.

Into the deep blue sea

 Face to face with the sea.

Looking for something.

I'm melancholy

Why people are so so so... i don't know. So confusing.

Blank look

Eyeballs yuck. watching somewhere pointless shit.

I don't know where's my brains, i lost them again, i don't know where my mind is. 

Something is totally missing..

Yes I would, if I could

FEELINGS!

i just want to be loved. by someone nice.

These days..

Morning sun was beautiful.

I don't know. I'm in some kind of emotional circle. Just rolling rolling rolling around.
I just want to get the hang of it all. Like i understand everything.

I will tell everything when i really know the words. That i can be sure what i'm saying.
I can't write text if i don't understand it myself.

I will get throw of this. I'll hope..