Olkoon menneksi

Mitaah Mitaaah?

kuolen häpeään ja osaankin aina pilata kaiken! juuri nyt juuri nyt voisin ihan mitä vain! Kunhan kaikki menisi hyvin, miksei hän vastaa vaikka valo näyttää vihreää ja vielä inhottavampaa kun palstassa lukee "Nähty 21:24"
Kaikki oli eilen vielä ihanasti kunnes aloin jankuttamaan ja kaaduin longboardilla... miksi en voisi elää pilvessä koko ajan. pusujen taivaassa jossa vatsassa tuntuu aivan ihanalta.. nyt tunnen kipua takapuolessa ja ruhjeisessa kädessäni.


Maybe everything is all right... or not

Hola! I'm alive! All thought i'm losing weight because i'm so stupid that i forgot to eat. reason is i'm at my friend house five days because she went to London. I have two lovely dogs here and i have to take care of them. That's hard, i'm so powerless.. but still like in it.
First day was so weird, i couldn't sleep.. clock was 3am and i was fresh like good orange juice, but what happened then. I can't believe it, one hell good looking guy calls me and asked where i was. and i said here and then he comes here about two hours ago. And i was still fresh like good orange juice and he was so so so fresh. oh dear. then we talked, i dance and we listened beach house. And then we gone to sleep. I couldn't sleep.. he's so gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous. oh oh oh.

now i drop from the cloud castle...

My bike is stolen and i got terrible hangover and cough. uuh where is the orange juice.   


Little bit more action please!

Time just run away, i need power! soon i don't have any time and then i will shame myself and then would kill myself or just run as fast the time goes.

But i can't write and tell about myself and what i want and what are my skills. And i don't like to call strangers, because i must be the one who have to talk. And i have big plans on my mind and i want it becomes true, but i need help. maybe i call to my dad.

I don't even has plans for Midsummer and i'm afraid to ask people what they do. It would be nice to celebrate that. But luckily i have good wine, i can drink that by myself and think things. again. and night surfing!

Dancing could help. I hope this pointless manatee shit text stops soon!


Pretty good question

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I can't breath, breath, breath...

So much pain.

I just want to go away. And if i go, nobody would care or call.

I'm not feeling well.

I thought that everything would go well and i would be happy. NO NO NO! what i even think about.

I'm just jealous to everybody!


But only if you are

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I love those late night bicycle trips. All thought i was little bit loosy goosy. It was as if I had swum in the ocean, air was warm cold. And it was nice to listen old lykke li stuff, it has been a while.

And i mess up things AGAIN. I get to suffer. again. My tongue is burned, my voice is gone, my face is ugly.


They say i'm clueless

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I'm sorry about my last text, it was those days when you want to scream the words out of your moth. And sing florence and the machine so loud that he could hear.

Days are going the same, sewing, sleeping and dreaming, drinking morning coffee outside in sunlight, eating, give love to dog, lots of thinking.. ouh and working that i could get some money, but don't know yet where to spend it. I really want to go with my friend to Amsterdam. Or somewhere else.

Yesterday i saw cool people but i was still lonely. i'm so shy.

and people say to me that i look clueless.. Not the people yesterday.

Oh dear.


And i would give all this and heaven too

Image and video hosting by TinyPic New year 2012

I hate myself, i hate myself. This ignorance is killing me and i'm so confused and frustrated. Something is holding me still, but i have plenty works to do and i can't do it. whyy. what is wrong with me.

And i hate these stupid horoscopes which i have obsession to read every day. The words controll my life and the fucking stars. "Monday is worth of three stars" fucking hate it! I thought it would guide me and tell me what i should do and what shouldn't. But that's just bullshit! Never trust the horoscopes.

I cry.

This writing doesn't help. i'm still going to read those horoscopes.. maybe. i must try hard to not read.

And this boy is in my dreams, i think i like him very much and i do but i don't get the time. I have to tell it face to face and i try and try. And now he must think about me as i stalk him or i have obsession of him. And i think when i get the time, it's too late by then. I'm always getting shit on my neck.

I've never experienced the love. ( i don't mean family.) or feel it or see it. Oh dear i mean, nobody hasn't told me or shown interest in me. something is wrong. obviously!

Isn't it wonderful that my writings is always the same shit.

I need answers. i have to think again and think little bit more.


You turn me on

uuh so hot! good song and pretty badass movie!
love it


I knew i was ugly.

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Loving joose and smelling weird. like smoke and barbeque mushrooms. And thinking too much that i don't even know any more what i'm thinking.


We are all weird

This make me smile with my eyes, but mouth just look the same. Watch this movie if you haven't seen it yet. It contains lots of good. Smile smile smile.

"I don't shut up, i grow up, and when i look at you, i throw up. äää."


This keeps me up at night.

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If i could go back in time, i would like to live that day again.