Stop me oh oh stop me

Panic panic panic! I'm just rolling my thumbs and think what the hell i should do. I was planning to move and be free, but one email can just ruin everything.. Now i have to star over and damn two weeks left. I want to change my school and do like art stuff., but all thought i like making clothes too. hmph. in chrismas we have underwear course maybe i want to stay there.

When it's okay to lie about a thing? I don't know what else i should do (now i'm talking different thing) oh when i can see rainbows and happy stuff...

Now i'm biting my fingernails and listening ride and soon taking laundry out.

Everything i touch turns sour.

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The girl on the bridge, 1999

This movie is most beautiful movies i have seen. So breathtaking (watch the video) and i cried tears at the end.
Now i want to cry more.

Apocalypse dream

I wish i could keep my eyes closed whole time and just dream. But when they can open? If i wish that everything would be all right when i open my eyes, that's not going to be happend. Because my luck sucks all the time!

The exciting answer what i was wating, was total flop. Now i'm back at the bottom and it's so hard to climb back where everything looks brighter.. And there isn't any time left.

My life sucks, i can say!

Now, i can write my feelings in one question.

How to disappear completely and never be found?

"Listen to the sound of the earth turning." -Yoko Ono

Hobla! I'm alive. I guess so.. My eyes are working so then i'm alive.
My computer has been shut up because i was three days in Stockholm. It was nice! I'm never going to bored that city! All thought i have been there many many times.
I spend part of my money and bought nice things. I found few movies, Blow job-poster, old filmcamera (hoping that it's working..) and nice clothes, most from vintage stores.

We went in Yoko Ono "Grapefruit" exhibition , it was beautiful. Her mind is beautiful. All the thoughs and film scenes.
I was stupid, wait.. or rather thoughtless. There was a stairs and at the top was a computer. And note were called, write your dream in the computer and save it. I write.. and quietly in my mind thought it.
Then my daddy pointed his finger to the roof. And there it was, my text. I was feeling so much embarrassing. I didn't wanted that to happen. I wanted to cry. Maybe that will fade away..

I want kisses! Kissing is great! Oh how i miss it.

I'm in love

His voice is oh! he just stands and slowly killing me with him coolness. And that redwine glass <3

I want to puke

 Oh sad face, what a miserable. Why some people are cruel? I'm being nice and funny but what have i done? i don't get it. I just got shitty messages back. Oh fuck. He's so gorgeous, maybe i'm too non cool for him or his friends. I have to got something else to think! And i need to found something to do, sitting in home, alone is killing me right now...

I wanna built a treehouse and dream out there

Picture is me enjoying such a powerful thing called music with little bit alcohol in my body twisted with cigarettes.

Oh "the brain damage" is back. I just watch emptiness and don't think anything. What the fuck i'm waiting or thinking.. i don't know.
I say to myself that it would be nice to clean, paint, sew, read but nothing has happened yet. All thought i'm trying to read but words don't stay in my mind so i have to start over again and over until i gave up.
I'm feeling sleepy hole time. I sleep two hours and then i try to be awake and then i'm sleeping again.

Ane brun sounds so so beautiful right now and crackers tastes so good.

And outside is raining so hard that i'm thinking to take a shower out there..

This time is like the puzzle

The Festival pictures! your welcome. They are little bit mess order because blogger is so hard.

But ooh it was so great day! And greatness talking about! i think some of things are clicking to the place. now i'm waiting excited answers! But later to that, when i'm really sure!

Give me one more change

I WAS ON FIRE! Bloc party, metronomy and two door cinema club was so great! and oh snooooop double g o d, i just danced in the mud. i let the beat float in my body and scream the songs out of my mouth and just enjoy! Oh now i have to take my single-use camera to the camerashop and wait excited my photos. but that must be my luck that i pay lots of money and i'll just get black photos... oh we wait, then i scan them and i'll show it to you.
But now listen this, i can't get enough.

Humans are so weird, all the time fucking question marks

Pretty excited about tomorrow! all thought there is no heart burning bands but the feeling must be great! if you want to! and i want! woohop woohoh hoh oh! 

The feeling on Thursday was pretty much what that picture can tell you.. it was so so so... i think i don't want to tell what was my feeling, so embarrassing.

Can you do something for me for a change?

Oh now i just want to say FUCK YOU FUCK FUCK YOU FUCK YOU! he was just playing with me. Then i run so fast outside and cry a lot. why me? why is this happening to me? i'm so lonely and jealous and angry and sad. where i can find happines.
And i did it again, i readed those stupid horoscopes and i'm sad that i saw only one fucking star to sunday and i'm going to ruisrock that day.. that can't be bad day! and i will have fun that day, that it is worth of money. Oh why i do this to myself, tell me, oh tell me. Can you say to me that life is great and you shouldn't worry every fucking thing! say it! that i believe!

Oh i wait that my friend comes here and she bring some cigarettes that i could smoke my brain away. And be more clueless than now. not cool at all!

Friend gave me some fabrics for free! i was heaven! That blue mermaid fabric is so amazing but really don't know what i'm going to do with it. i will figure it out soon! And bought some plastic flowers and try to do headband. jei!
I think i want third cup of coffee.